THE OTHER SIDE: Satire

Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Welcome to NEW INDIA

New India Flag Without Green Color

New India has new traits and we welcome you to this. The country still stretches from Kashmir to Kanyakumari from north to south and from Arunanchal Pradesh to Gujarat from east to west but I advise you to avoid going to Kashmir as we don’t know when situation go out of control and you find yourself between security personal and stone pelters tussle.As far as Arunanchal is concerned with China we can resolve the problem as we are doing in Doklam area.

Bow to cows as you see them in any corner of the country eating waste plastic garbage or just roaming on busy roads. Refer Patanjali of Baba Ramdev before using any cow product they may have absolute copyright to it. If you see them injured in state like Uttar Pradesh where infants death rate is high in August or in Madhya Pradesh where farmers income is projected to be incraesing every election year you can even call ambulance to hospitals designated to Mother. Also accompany cows on their way to Aadhar enrollment even if you are not getting Aadhar benefits due to erased finger prints by manual labor jobs.

We have completely changed. Now we can’t tolerate people different to us. We beat them easily and even can kill them whether they are foreigners, people from different faith, different caste, color or even tribal people who don’t belong to us are not spared; the highest literary rate state Kerala is also not far behind in doing so. We are casual in our approach and our video of killings goes viral easily with many supporters instigating us to do so more often. Lynching and killing I must say should be made our national past time.

In new India we believe in non-existence of people doing fraud with us. We send them either Lalit Modi, Vijay Mallaya, Nirav Modi, etc to safe foreign countries so that they can’t pollute our country with their dirty corruption. Yes you are right we have zero tolerance to corruption so we either take them in ruling party or send them outside country. Now our main focus is not lowering GDP, decreasing tax collection, Rupee price falling or things like that but to find ways to erase Muslims from our history. We are doing great research on this field and even changed winners of few battles in the past.

Please come and visit a PROPOSED HINDU NATION and feel free to share other feedback I have missed here. We are experts in making a mountain out of a small stone so praise us little and we can do the rest. Good Bye. God Bless India,

The Cow's World

Hearing on a Public Interest Litigation Chief Justice Sand Singh popularly known as 'The Ox' declined the demand for equal status of humans in 'The Cows World'. He said that there is no use of bringing stale human rights to their world which don't even existed in true manner in The Human's World. He emphasized on the use of less money in domesticating them for farm use because in they end they are useless.

Petitioner 'Gau Lal Devi' is disheartened with the decision due to her emotional connect with the humans one of whom saved her from drowning. She said in a dejected tone,' I am disappointed with the decision and wants a larger bench to hear it again. We have a long association with humans and most of them are not as cruel as we think. We live in the liberal world where we must give them equal right as cows enjoys in this world of us.'

Public showed a mix response on social media. While some hailed it as historic authentication of the danger possessed by the free humans some said its wrong because scriptures talk positively about humans. Human right activists remain unavailable for the comment after court issued arrest orders for any public statement in support of humans. Larger bench will hear the petition next week but experts believe they only affirm the Chief justice's view. For now two minutes silence for the human rights.

Government Approved Money Laundering Scheme.

Modi government believes in ‘Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas’ since it has come in power ☺. Moving ahead on this mission the government has introduced amendment to the Income Tax Act in Lok Sabha on Monday for our dear black money hoarders who are experiencing sleepless nights after demonetization. Black Marketers who were facing difficulties in finding the way to convert their black money in legal money can now do this with government's help. Earlier they were either depositing this money in accounts of poor people with recovery period after March 2017 or were exchanging from some mediators or bank officials at the commission of up to 60% which means they are getting only 40% of their hard earned black money ☹.

Modi ji is known for his deep thinking before any of his quick actions. This idea also proving the same where the government is offering only 50% tax on converting black money into white and no punishment.Not only that 25% of that converted amount can be withdrawn at once and the rest 25% will be used for welfare of the poor. Government has promised that this welfare scheme for black money hoarders will also ensure confidentiality so that their names remain secret and they remain nationalist in eyes of the people. Those who feared for arrest or scrutiny for their black money are now feeling proud of being part of the development work of the government.

Sources among the black money hoarders said that this will boost their morale to accumulate more black money by tax evasion in the future endeavors which will further come handy for Modi ji in using it for the welfare of the people. Income Tax officers are also happy because they are hoping to get some incentives from black money hoarders while examining their balance sheets. The people standing in bank queues are yet to hear that news for busyness in depositing and withdrawing money. Source close to the government are sure for the success of this scheme after seeing the enthusiasm of their ardent followers on social media sites. Now people with ‘Illegal Properties’ are hoping for some similar measures so that they could contribute to the nation building.

For more information on this government approved money laundering you can download Namo App or visit government or Income tax website. The anti-nationals and traitors who were opposing Demonetization without seeing that it has halted the fast paced lives of people so that they can think about themselves while standing in bank queues or arrange their marriages through Facebook live are now criticizing this welfare of poor dear black money hoarders. These Modi haters will go to hell.

Patriotism On Sale

Maharashtra CM Devendra Fadnavis is offering a great scheme for all those who wish to skip the police action against any hooliganism and goondaism. Raj Thackerey the chief of Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) is the first recipient of this scheme. Devendra Fadnavis called him to his office after his party workers started threatening Cinema owners against screening of Karan Johar's Ae Dil Hai Mushkil for having a Pakistani actor Fawad Khan. In a closed door meeting where Karan Johar was also present mediator Devendra Fadnavis gave go ahead to the idea of Raj Thackerey of depositing 5 crore Indian rupees by the film producers in an army fund in lieu of allowing Pakistan actor staring film screening in Mumbai and Maharashtra.

Kofee with Karan host was delighted with this handsome ransom saving him from financial and artistic loss. Experts believe this idea could be a game changer as parties like MNS & Shiv Sena could help contribute millions to the army fund since many film released in India are opposed by them regularly. MNS sources told that they now for the sake of the country would find more faults in the film to protest against them and then demand to contribute in the army fund which would depend on the budget of the film. Farhan Akhtar and Sharukh Khan who are the producers of another Pakistan actor Mahira Khan staring film appreciated this step and asked if they need to deposit this amount before or after the protest for their film started by MNS workers.

Sources close to the Maharashtra CM believes that he may extend this scheme for gangsters, smugglers and thieves by asking them what they demand for stopping their illegal activities and still look patriotic in front of the nation. Previous governments were criticized by those filmmakers whose films were protested by MNS and Shiv Sena then for not thinking about this wonderful idea. Better late than never, this scheme would be revolutionary in Indian context. Not only other states but other countries are willing to follow this idea thanks to Devendra Fadnavis.

Horses To Go For Species Change Operation

Shaktimaan the police horse who was seriously injured during BJP protest in Dehradun is now demanding a species change operation. After amputation of his leg Shaktimaan and other police horses are demanding species change from horses to cows. While they were being attacked for being in police force 'Gau Raksha Samiti' of different states are attacking people for harming cows. They too were demanding such kind of Z plus security in which instead of harming them humans would kill humans.

A horse on promise of anonymity has revealed that they are in touch of doctors in America for this operation. He referred to Jharkhand incident where two cattle traders were hanged to death for protecting cows as the precursor of this idea. He added that people are attacking them while they are going to the extent of killing for saving cows. He also told us about their application for government aid for this operation.

According to some sources they will head to US once Shaktimaan's recovers from his injury. Other animals like dogs, bulls, buffaloes,etc are also discussing this option for respect in this cows' world. Experts believed if the condition persist some humans may also opt for this operation.

Award Committee

"Dear members of award committee, being the chairman of this selection committee its my duty to honor the talented people for their contribution to their respective field. This is the list I have made after your recommendations. Please feel free to discuss if you have any doubts so that I can forward a final list to the ministry." The conference room came alive after announcement by the chairman.

All members started reading the names on the list, it was their responsibility to give a fair decision to keep nation's faith in these prestigious civilian awards. After reading the list there were discussions on some names, they added few to the list and deleted some from it. Finally after two hours all members were satisfied with the outcome. They gave a nod to chairman to announce these names to the ministry. The final list soon reached the PMO for Prime Minister's approval. PM after approving the list send an appreciation letter to the committee.

' Dear members of the committee, I am happy with your work. I am satisfied that after weeks of deliberation you finally zeroed down the name similar to the list send by my office to you at the time of formation of this committee. By doing this task some of you also qualified for next years Padma award list. Thanks again Best of luck for the future.'

All members of the committee were proud of their sycophancy after hearing this letter from the PM. They have done the job given to them. Chairman was on cloud nine, he was sure of Padma Award next year. ' Sycophancy is the best trait to get these awards,' he said to himself and dismissed the committee.

Note : Above scene is an imaginative reconstruction of what I think happens in Padma Award committee looking at the awardees each year.

Noorullah's plan against Salman failed.

Noorullah's plan against Salman failed - Victory of Justice.

Salman Khan’s acquittal by Bombay High Court in 2002 hit and run case is yet another victory of justice in India. With the verdict it has became cleared that Noorullah the man who died that night on pavement in front of American Bakery in Bandra, Mumbai was plotting against Salman Khan. He hated Salman Khan for an incident from his childhood.

Noorullah came to Mumbai in 90’s with a clear intention of maligning Salman’s image even if it cost him his life. He skipped his exam for Maine Pyaar Kiya Salman's first hit movie which became a worldwide hit. When he got failed in his exams his father scolded and beat him badly for his failure and stopped his school. He blamed Salman Khan for his miserable condition and pledged to take revenge. If Salman's would have released his movie on a different date he could have saved his precious year. He came to Mumbai and took a job in A1 bakery which was on the way of JW Marriot hotel and Salman’s home in Bandra. He knew one day Salman would come in his Land Cruiser and would ram it on the pavement when they were sleeping there. He convinced his friends to get injured, permanent handicapped for his plan's success. When Land Cruiser crushed him to death and injured four other people his plan became successful. He was such a shrewd man.

This case raises suspicion on improper working of Bombay sessions court who took notice of all statements of witnesses including security constable Ravindra Patil. The law declares a missing man dead when he remain untraceable for seven years keeping this in mind dead man’s statement which in this case is the statement of Ravindra Patil becomes null and void after his death in 2008. Session court judge knowingly acted on each and every statement which shows his personal grudges for the star and closeness to victims. The session court’s judge’s role should be investigated by the government. Bombay High Court on the other hand took notice of inefficiency of lower court and acquitted Salman Khan.

We can now hope speedy judgments in another high profile cases where victims by pretending their rapes, deaths and injuries are trying to demean a celebrity or public figure. Asaram Bapu, Indrani Mukherjee, Tarun Tejpal, Shiney Ahuja, Manu Sharma all have now hopes to come out clean. Today we must applaud efforts of Mumbai Police whose weak charge sheet against Salman Khan helped to uncover Noorullah’s plan.

Certificate of Indianness

Certificate of Indianness.

The ruling party and its parent organisation RSS (Rashtriya Swamsevak Sangh) have now distributing certificate of Indianness. According to their leaders and spokesperson one who is born in India and who respect Indian constitution,culture, heritage and value is only entitled to be Indian if he follow rules laid by them like having a Khaki nikkar (half pant) in wardrobe, must follow politics of hate and so on. I got a specimen of this certificate which will first awarded to prime minister Narender Modi so that his absence in India should not give wrong impressions about his nationality.

Their spokesperson said that this procedure would be helpful in their earlier venture of Travel Agency where they are distributing free tickets to Pakistan. On question of news related to closing of travel agency after Bihar debacle and the loss in firecrackers brought to distribute in Pakistan he said travel agency is still working and they have sold crackers to Mahagadbandhan at cost price to minimize their loss. 'If Aamir Khan is planning to leave the country, he can contact us for better travel deals.' Mohan Bhagwat will distribute first Certificate of Indianness to Prime Minister as soon as he will return to the country.

BJP - Bhartiya Janata to Pakistan

The ruling party of India always comes up with novel concepts to spread their ideas. After successful campaigns of Rath Yatra, Chai Pe Charcha, Achche Din, they have come out with another interesting idea i.e. Ticket to Pakistan to send all critics to government and its policies to Pakistan. They have partnered with Hafiz Sayeed in Pakistan who will receive the people send by them with open hands. When Hafiz Sayeed was asked about how he would accommodate Indians in already populated Pakistan he said that he was sending thousands of Pakistani residence to India from several years after fore-sighting this scenario.

BJP also revealed the hidden meaning of their name as Bhartiya Janata to Pakistan. While briefing a media gathering their spokesperson said that they were working on this type of travel agency even before 2014 general elections. The idea is brainchild of BJP MP from Bihar Giriraj Singh and Yogi Adityanath, Sadhvi Prachi and Sakshi Maharaj promoted it to their full capacity. Now after BJP president Amit Shah's nod party officially announced their travel wing to cater all tasks related to it under Kailash Vijayvargiye who wants Shah Rukh Khan to be the first person to take benefit from this scheme.

This travel wing along with handling Prime Minister's foreign tours would provide free transportation to Pakistan for all those opposed to them. 'This looks like a daunting task but we are fully prepared to do this with RSS support,' a BJP party worker said on promise of anonymity. 'Shah Rukh Khan is our favorite and he will be the first person to get his ticket from Prime Minister himself,' he further added. Opposition is terming it as a gimmick for Bihar poll because none from the opposition have received an invitation for Ticket to Pakistan.

It is not yet cleared that this scheme is meant only for Muslims or others could also benefit from the scheme. BJP has also not announced the amount they have given to Hafiz Sayeed for preparing for the project in Pakistan. The people are waiting for travel packages to other countries as well but that seems impossible since India have faced only one partition its history.

World Yoga Day - New Aasan

International Yoga Day on 21st June 2015 was an eye catching event owing to its vastness and reach. The PM famous for his marketing and event management skills stood victorious again at this time in making it a world event without any flaws if we ignore some asanas (posture) he performed wrong. But I am not here to praise the achievements of this day since our PM expert in Swayam Prashansan (Self-Praise Posture) is enough for this, I am here to make you aware of the few New Aasanas (postures) trending in the country.

Ram Madhav with his latest tweet after World Yoga Day about Vice President Hamid Ansari joined the league of other BJP leaders like Sakshi Maharaj, Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, Yogi Adityanath and some others who are expert practitioner of Murkh Samvad Aasan (Foolish Talking Posture). In this aasan the practitioner speaks without knowing the facts and repercussions of his sayings as Ram Madhav did with his tweet without knowing that Vice President was not invited for the event due to protocol perhaps he was trying the age old favorite Sampradayik Aasan (communal posture) of RSS and BJP.

Recently PM Narender Modi who has become a pro in Ulat Palat Asan (Shuffle Posture) by changing his views on various issues before and after the General elections has now learnt Maun Aasan (Silent Posture) by keeping silent on Lalit Modi, Vasundhara Raje and Sushma Swaraj's Bhrashtachaar Aasan (Corruption Posture) which sources close to him claims he has learnt from Manmohan Singh the former Prime Minister of India during their 45 minutes meeting recently at 7 Race Course Road. It is not difficult to understand that PM is a quick learner the use of Made In China yoga mats despite his urge for Make In India appears to be the practice of Jumla Aasan (Phrase Posture) taught by Amit Shah to him and used previously for Black Money issue.

Modi government in partnership with Arvind Kejriwal lead Delhi government is also doing Kathputli Aasan (Puppet posture) and Nautanki Aasan (Drama posture) with Delhi L.G Najeeb Jung leading the troops leaving Delhi citizens in Tang Aasan (Trouble posture) due to restrictions in developmental work. The already troubled public is fed up of all these aasanas of politicians and want something to uplift their spirit, though Rahul Gandhi's Sakriya Aasan ( Active Posture) brings some hope but they are not stopping doing Shanka Asan (doubt posture) looking at his previous performances.

Just keep practicing yoga taught by Yoga Gurus for healthy mind, body and soul because politically taught aasanas have bad effect not only on our health but the health of society and nation.

Pakistan Demands Land From India

Pakistan Demands Land From India - A Satire

PROPOSED AREA FOR BEEF-LAND

Union Cabinet Minister Muqhtar Abbas Naqvi's suggestion of sending all beef eaters to Pakistan was welcomed by Pakistan due to excess of Beef Spices with them. Pakistani officials are offering great offers on flights and accommodations for those people who were willing to settle there,' We have estimated the number of people we need to accommodate here so we are demanding more land from Indian government for this purpose along with previously demanded Kashmir.' He added in media briefing that they could wait on Kashmir issue but beef issue was more serious.

India is the largest exporter of beef in the world but those who involved in slaughtering and transporting this beef to the world are prohibited to eat the same due to some unforeseen health consequences. Naqvi's idea has initiated farewell parties among Christians, Muslims, Dalits and also among some Hindus in states of Maharashtra, Goa, Kerala, North-Eastern States, West Bengal et cetera to bid good bye to their friends. While Pakistan is welcoming them these people are keen on getting Beefistan or Beefland or IndiBeef from the Indian government. Some said that they understood sentiments related to cow slaughter but why Ox and Buffalo suddenly turned sacred to some hardliners. Some ministers and parliamentarian are also supporting this demand.

The Cattle community have also joined the protest on demands of a Cattle Land where all cows, buffaloes, ox, etc could live peacefully away from humans. The new government which believes in good days for everyone is also considering this demand seriously. Let's see what happens in the future but Naqvi is receiving letters and messages from Chicken community for a similar remark on their eaters so that they a Chicken land would be a reality in future.

Ambitions of A Litterbug

image source here

I have dreams or I should say that we have dreams, my team the members of my community who are struggling for a name and fame in the society at least some respect from are fellow citizens. We are the neglected lot in this country. There are people who fought for the rights of women, children, LGBT , SC, ST,etc but none comes to cater our demands for the equality or rather superiority in the society for our services to the great country of ours India.

Afters years of humiliation from the society we have decided to come together to raise our demands and make our talent known not only in the country but throughout the world. Actually sometimes I think these foreigners understands us better that our own countrymen. They are the true jewelers to value the gems like us. They click pictures of our arts of those beautiful textures we made with paan and guthka spits on roadside walls, the garbage we throw to show our high consumption of food items are their favorite and not to forget the patches of plaster falling from walls after years of constant urinating such patches caught their immediate attention. The foreign tourists regularly visits just to see our creations not only at public places and roads but also at historical monuments. But still no special mentions of our services on public platforms.

It is sad to say that the talent admired by foreigners remained neglected at its place of birth. I sometimes feel ashamed when people just move aside keeping hands on their noses after seeing someone urinating on the walls and thus ignoring his artistic urge of giving a unique texture to that wall. My friend Paan Singh is a champion paan spitter, he can aim from a distance of about 10 feet and it is hard to get Gutkiya Lal's intensity while spitting guthka from his mouth. Shanno Aunty is a champion garbage bag thrower, her bag falls at a same place daily from balcony of third floor and not to forget my girlfriend she herself is unaware of the fact that the plastic bottle she threw out from moving car always falls on the road without hitting anybody an unmatched talent I would say.

There are numerous such talents like Peshab Bahudur, Kuda Khan, Thook lal,etc which went unnoticed due to the sorry state of our country in recognizing skillful people. Here I would like to thank The Times of India for providing us the platform to show our talents to the world through The Great Indian website. Here you can post pictures of these unknown people, their creations and help them to exhibit their skills. I would also like to appeal to the PM, the Indian Olympic Association, the Sports Ministry to look into the matter and give us chance to shine by demanding spitting competitions in Olympics. I assure you to win all three medals in this sports for the country. Moreover their must be some efforts from the government to highlight this talent and give some respect to us. I also demands Bharat Ratna for Paan Chand for his contribution in every expect of littering.

Here is a video by The The Great Indian website displaying some of us with their skills:

This post is written for The Great Indian Litterbug Happy Hours on Indiblogger

Face to Face with A Habitual Convert

Change is the only constant. Since the birth of human race we are in the process of change from animal like to humans, from ignorant to enlightened and from god fearing to god fearing. No, you haven't read it wrong we were and we are god fearing people having no understanding about him. We fear to question his existence. We fear to question his ways and in this fear we bow to him. Many perhaps don't consider me correct but believe it or not this is true for most of us. But this man is different whom I met during this period of nationwide discussions and parliament uproar on Ghar Wapsi and Conversions. Here is excerpt of my conversation with him :

Me : What you do?

Habitual Convert (HC) : I beg to feed my family of six. I, my wife and four children.

Me: Where do you beg?

HC: It depends on the day of the week ,Tuesday - Hanuman Temple, Wednesday - Shiv Temple, Thursday - Gurudwara, Friday - Mosque, Saturday - Sai Baba Temple, Sunday - Church. Monday is my holiday. I spend time with my children and my wife goes to Durga Mata's temple.

Me: It's obvious that you beg in name of different gods at different places. What else you do with your appearance?

HC: Tilak for temples, skull caps for mosques, and nothing for churches and gurudwaras only god's name is enough.

Me: You change your religion,faith daily. Don't you fear God?

HC: No, I love god without differentiating in his types. Sahab! See, my gods changes daily but not my condition. I am either a Muslim beggar, a Hindu beggar and so on. When god don't fear from my deplorable condition why should I fear from one whom condition is unknown to me. But yes I fear from police they sometime hits very hard to move us away from some places.

Me: Have you ever officially converted your religion?

HC: Yes! You don't know about life nothing is easy to achieve. For ration card I converted to Hinduism, for minority card I became a Muslim, for a year's supply of food I prefer Christianity. One religion for easy Aadhar card, another religion for BPL card and another for food security and another for children's education. It takes only 1 to 2 hour in changing your god.

Me: What was your religion of birth?

HC: I don't know my father, my grand father,uncles every body used to change religion for their benefits. Either we follow all religion or none.

Me: Is there any change in your status when you change religion?

HC: See in cities you don't see much change, poor remains poor here in every circumstances but I can tell you about my one uncle who was not allowed to enter in a temple because of his low caste. He converted to another religion and then for sake of his Ghar Wapasi they reconverted him in the same temple he was not allowed to enter before. He was also allotted with a home in the village. What a lucky man he was? Sometimes I wish I would be at his place.

Me: Do you know about Anti-Conversion Bill?

HC: No!

Me: It will stop such conversions of benefits, if it becomes a law.

HC: Please sahib! Stop it any how. It's matter of my family's livelihood. Hey Bhagwan! garibo ki thodi si khushi bhi tujhse bardasht nahin hoti? (O! God! Can't you see poor happy.)

I heard somewhere that hunger knows only one religion that is food and I don't even know whether changing one's religion is good or bad but I do know what hunger means. We often see and read people committing crimes as harsh as murders to satisfy their hunger in that sense conversion appears a petty crime. But we look religion as a matter of identity then no crime is as harsh as taking away once identity. I let your free thinking decide on this crucial issue. Perhaps I write more on it in my coming posts.

The Midas Touch

"Sir we should give him Bharat Ratna before your tenure end, otherwise I think he would be the next Prime Minister of India", PM's secretory was worried of my popularity because I helped in eradicating poverty along with garbage and waste from Indian streets which was promised by him five years back during his election rallies.

"It was also my mistake that he became so popular in the country. If I would have stayed in the country more than on foreign visits, I could catch his potentials early and forced him to join our party." PM knew that it was too late none of his policy could stand against my Midas touch. I have turned all the garbage and waste on streets and roads into gold which was picked by people. This changed fortunes of every Indian, those who never saw garbage touched and put it in their pockets and home. With lack of cleaning staff government even lost opportunity to grab gold.

I became so famous that not only Indian PM but state heads of other countries were also discussing about my Midas touch and its effect on the world. They were also planning to bestow me with highest civilian awards of their country. Their were also speculations that Noble Prize committee would confer me with Noble Peace Prize. Although I faced difficulty in doing my regular work like eating and cleaning myself but I dedicated myself to service of humanity and for doing my personal work I appointed a secretory who used to feed me, help me in bathing and after nature's call.

All my nephews and nieces were engrossed in my story when their mothers called them. I always told them such stories without asking whether they believe it or not.But I know they enjoyed listening them. I think I have made it clear my action plan if I had the Midas touch.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Scary Ghosts

"We should take him to our community doctor," said senior most member of their group. " I also think so, he is silent from last two days" another group member shared his concern. Madav the youngest member of this group of ghosts who live in the old municipality building was not in his senses from last two days. He was unable to sleep in day and couldn't concentrate in his work at night. All group members were worried about his condition but he didn't speak to anybody about this. His face was pale in fear and he felt tremors sometimes.

They took him to the doctor who was practicing in the same hospital he died after seeing a ghost in his office. He sat there from 1 am to 4 am. Doctor examined him and told others to wait outside , " What happened to you my boy ? " He didn't spoke anything. " Is it the matter of love because I have tasted your blood ,it is not infectious you drinking from right people." He remain quiet, he was unable to forget that night and that scene was moving in front of his eyes. Doctor understanding the situation asked again, " Have you seen a politician." He looked towards doctor , hugged him and started crying. "So this is the matter, tell me what have you seen."

He started remembering that frightful night, doctors called others inside to share his pain. " Two days ago when I was lurking above a peepal* tree and waiting for some to come, I saw a crippled man trying to run with help of his stick ,blood was oozing out from wounds on his body.He hid behind the same tree I was sitting on but few man came and found him then another man looking like their boss came and started abusing him for instigating the people against his corruption. I thought to intervene and scared them so that I could save the crippled man but to my surprise he didn't move at all even when all his men ran away. He said that he was not afraid from me as he had created so many ghosts , when I told him that I could drink his blood he laughed loudly deafening my ears with a face more dangerous and scary than the ghost king. He then leaned on my neck and I became unconscious."

"He was laughing because he had drunk more blood than us in his lifetime and I think he had drunk your blood also that's why you became unconscious." Doctor explained after examining his neck while all others were shivering to think about a creature who could drink their blood. When Madhav recovered in few days they decided to leave that area without knowing that these political ghosts were omnipresent.

*a tree believed to be the home of ghosts in many parts of India , scientific name Ficus religiosa

Happy Halloween

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

This post is also linked to Three Word Wednesday #399(blood,cripple,lurk) .

Baba Ramdev's 'Tax Asan'

Baba Ramdev's interest in bringing back black money and his affiliation towards Narender Modi and BJP has made him to introduce a new Asan ( Yoga posture) for his followers the 'Tax Asan'. He announced it recently and asked BJP's prime ministerial candidate Narender Modi to practice this asan to be next Indian Prime Minister.

He also added that this posture is a result of research by him and 'arthakranti.org.Practice of this asan includes:

1.Removal of all present taxes in India(except import duties).

2.Levy a single Bank Transaction Tax of 2% on receivers account instead.

3.Distributing this amount among various agency in the ratio, Central gov.(0.7%): State gov.(0.6%):Local bodies(0.35%):Bank(0.35%).

4.Withdrawal of high denomination currency (i.e above Rs 50)

5.All transaction to be done through bank only.

Benefits of 'Tax Asan':

1.Rate of all items to be reduced by 50%.

2.Guarantee of 300 lok sabha seats if practiced by BJP.

3.Prosperity and peaceful living of all citizen of India.

4.Removal of poverty,corruption,etc.

Baba said that it's non of our concern that this asan failed in Brazil,absence of an expert like him was the reason behind it according to him.

Other's experts who are working in simplifying the already exiting tax asan are against this asan due to the following reasons:

1.Unavailability of banks in each nook and corner of India.

2.Rich and poor to be taxed at same rate.

3.Increase the tax burden as more transaction means more tax.

4.Not used by any developing or developed economy except some tourist destinations.

5.Decrease in tax collection which are used in running our country.

6.Increase in black money because people then will prefer cash transactions to save tax.

7.Easy for black marketers to turn their money into white by paying just 2%.

Baba Ramdev's mission is to make each individual of India whether they reside in village or cities to be flexible like him to be able to accept and perform this asan. Banks where this has to be performed has not said anything yet.The success of this asan is still in question but Baba has started preaching it in his yoga camps.

Stubble Politics

I might have reviewed these elections differently had there been no P.A.S.S activity going on at BlogAdda. This activity tends to make me think like that. Till now we all know that Congress is erased,BJP is praised and a new force AAP is traced. The stubbornness of Congress high command in dealing with issues related to public importance has failed their efforts of attracting people through food subsidy and direct cash transfer. On the other hand dominance of Narender Modi in national perspective helped BJP in gaining majority in three states. AAP in Delhi emerged due to their reach to each voter and their clean images.

But this is against the P.A.S.S activity. All the gainers in these elections i.e Dr. Harshvardhan and Arvind KJejriwaal in Delhi, Raman Singh in Chattisgarh, Shivraj Singh Chauhan in M.P and finally Narender Modi (BJP's PM canditate) have beard or at mustache on their faces. Voters instead of hating that unclean stubble praised them and the losers namely Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiradhitya Sindhiya in M.P, Ajeet Jogi in Chattisgarh and Ashok Gehlot in Rajasthan were denied by voters in spite of having a clean shaven look to bowled others.( I don't think it is good to bring two women namely Sheila Dikshit and Vasundhra Raje in this hairy conversation.)

It is clear that clean and clear look works well with voters only when you work for them. But we who are participating in P.A.S.S should protest against this trend and encourage all politicians to have a clean shaven look.

This post is a part of the Protest Against Smelly Stubble Activity in association with BlogAdda.

This is in response to Umamaheshwari Anandane's tag. I would like to tag Juzta Mom, Subhorup Dasgupta and Ashwin Kumar

Minister's Visit

"Prabhakar,"said minister Ram Bharose to his secretory,"election are near now,what is the plan?".

"Sir! it's time we visit some villages in our area for vote appeal,your speeches are also ready,which date should I fix? Which village you will visit first?" Prabhakar replied confidently.

"Choose a village which is the most developed in my constituency",proudly said Ram Bharose.

"Sir,this is your constituency there is no chance of development."

"Hmm! we will visit Bijlipur,call local party office there to make all arrangements and don't forget to send Bijli (electricity) before us", he again sat relaxed on his chair.

Ram Bharose is very experienced,he is winning from this constituency from last 20 years,he knows all the tricks of the trade and since nothing has changed much,he is sure to win this time also.

Prabhakar on the other hand is busy in preparations for minister's visit. He telephoned local party office for arrangements for minister's visit. All departments were alerted about his visit. Roads were cleaned,water board opened 24 hours water supply,electricity is available day and night,light bulbs were fixed on poles,school building was repaired,food was distributed to poor people free of cost. All those things which was never taken care of were up to date now,even a song was prepared in his praise to be sung by school kids who now owns new uniforms.

" Sir,everything is finalized we have to go there tomorrow", " Prabhakar how much it costs", " nothing sir! only few promises for promotions for local officials."

Ram Bharose was confident when he visited Bijlipur. He repeated his old speech of last elections with addition of some fresh promises. After ending the speech he said" what else do you want? I am always ready." An old man from the audience stood up and said," Sir! I request you for more visits in our village."