THE OTHER SIDE: marriage

Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Talaq Talaq Talaq

The public image of triple talaq (divorce) comes mainly from the movie 'Nikaah' 1982 which has shown male actor divorcing his wife just by saying the word 'Talaq' thrice in anger. This film actually shows the misuse of it rather than the correct procedure of divorce in Islam. In practical practice also there are many such cases of triple talaq where maulvis (Islamic preachers) have validated these divorces which have raised the issue of injustice to women in Islam. It has also become the initiator for bringing Uniform Civil Code (UCC) and to target the Muslim community. The questionnaire on law commission's website mainly points out some Muslim practices in generating public opinion on the UCC whereas it should be an endeavor for common laws for all.

Quran termed divorce as an unavoidable practice and say to use it when no other option is available. In Quran 65:1 Surat al Talaq give a detail account of procedure of divorce. Saying the word talaq (I divorce you) thrice is considered as first divorce and there is a reconciliation time of three menstrual periods before pronouncing the second and third divorce which broke the marriage completely. Thus reconciliation period of around six months is there before marriage is termed as annulled much similar to the modern day practice of divorce in Indian law. There is also a condition that a husband can't divorce his pregnant wife. In case of divorce there are also directions on maintenance of woman and the children born out of wedding. The patriarchal society which governed mostly by men, the maulvis (Muslim preachers) who become the self proclaimed flag bearer of Islamic practices has manipulated this law to the comfort of man which let the women suffers. Some Muslim clerics in their ignorance and influence of money even allow divorce through Whats App messages,emails and through Skype which have created the bad impression for the community.

This should also be noted that in spite of triple talaq practices the case of divorce is less in Muslim community and the law of the land is applicable if anything wrong happened in the marriage or after the divorce. Those who advocate Uniform Civil Code (UCC) must call for removal of different practices of different religions for marriage, divorce, inheritance, etc and not just Islam. Right now the government has not proposed any draft for the civil code so I am unable to understand whether it will include abolishing of tax benefit to Hindu Unified Family, removal of Kanyadaan which portrays girl as a commodity with other gifts, Jain practice of Santhara will be criminal or not, the right of state governments to make laws in the related topics will be there or not after the UCC. There are many questions which are unanswered in bringing UCC and only triple talaq debate is put forward for its enactment. The current controversy looks more as a step to polarize the coming state elections than an endeavor in the way of UCC.

I have tried to elaborate triple talaq here and the controversy regarding the debate on it. Uniform Civil Code and Triple Talaq are two different issues bringing them together will only create confusion and fear in the community. Questions/suggestions are welcome in this post's comment section. Till next post God Bless India

Diary Confessions - 10 : Hidden Love

You could see me everywhere today as if it was my daughter's wedding. All arrangements from decoration to food and from band to beauty parlor bookings were in my control because I knew best what she like the most. Today was the wedding of my best friend Shruti. It all happened so quickly that we didn't get a day to celebrate our friendship by remembering childhood days but then I always believe that anything that happens is for our good. Kushal is a nice guy, Shruti's parents approved him in first meeting but they only informed Kushal parents only after my approval. Seeing them happy and Shruti satisfied with all that was happening I have least reason to say no to such a brilliant match. I am proud of myself for two reasons today, first that all functions from sangeet to vidai were liked by all and secondly nobody knows that I was hiding my tears behind a veil of smiling face. My first love, my only love, my childhood love remained incomplete.

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Somewhere Shruti was also writing his diary entry:

Even today when I was leaving my home I didn't notice slight remorse in Karan's eyes for not having me in his life. He was in his usual energy managing all my marriage arrangements. Bhaiya and Papa wouldn't do such arrangements of my choice. He is like that always ready to help. Nobody knows that I loved him from my childhood and always thought he also loved me but he never said anything not even when my parents asked for his approval regarding Kushal. I have found a good life partner in Kushal but I knew and I would lament that my first love, my childhood love remained incomplete.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Family Tradition

Malini quickly reached the temple to stop the marriage of his son Neeraj with Rashmi an acid attack victim as soon as she heard this news from her neighbors. When she reached there all marriage rituals were over. Neeraj and Rashmi were standing in front of her with garlands in their necks. She didn't know how to react; scold him for marrying without informing her or hug him to maintain the family tradition. His grandfather married a widow, his uncle a prostitute and his father a rape survivor. 'It's a family tradition you have maintained.' They touched her feet for blessings.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Six Word Memoirs : Marriage

Here is a set of six word stories presenting contrasting images of marriages, different reactions of family and society changed the scenarios completely.

1. First Sight Love. Killed For Honor.

2. Loved Beyond Castes. Villagers Applauded Wedding.

Diversions

Peter was flying in helicopter over the river where he first met Rebecca his wife a vivacious girl full of life.

This was the love at first sight which culminated into marriage unopposed by their parents.

But the diversions in their relation came when she fell in love with his friend who used to visit them regularly even in Peter's absence.

He was trying to escape from the town after killing his wife and his friend with his licensed pistol when police chased his car in helicopter and arrested him by bursting his tire with a gun shot.

Diversions from the path of love closed the way towards solutions.

This post is linked to Five Sentence Fiction (Diversions)

Dil Ki Deal Is A DilSe Deal

I am a shy person and the extent of it was experienced by me during my brother's marriage four and a half years back in 2010. Everyone in my home including my brother started talking to Bhabhi ( sister-in-law ) even before her marriage with my brother. But in my case forget about talking I was hesitant to come in front of her when our family visited her home on few occasions.

My attitude didn't change even when she came in our house after their marriage. There is a tradition in India to give a welcome gift to a newly wed bride. Every relative and family members from groom's side gave something to her before looking at her face for the first time ( Muhn Dikhai ). To avoid this function I remained absent from that ritual when relatives were present in our house. I was sure that Bhabhi would have noticed my absent when all my sisters gave something or the other to her. Although she never complained me about that till now, but I knew she would have felt bad.

I believe this tradition as one of introducing the new member of family to all relatives, it's good in a way to make her comfortable in an almost unknown place and atmosphere. This informal introduction makes one comfortable among strangers. Few more days passed relatives left the house but I neither introduced myself to her nor gifted anything to her. My sisters, mother scolded me for my this behavior. I was also ashamed of myself but that nature of mine was hard to change.

Some more days passed, everyone forgot that I hadn't gave her anything but that feeling was making me guilt ridden. I thought day and night about it and then one day a thought struck to me. I was too late in this ritual so I have to do something special. I figured out one essential thing which no body gifted her a watch. I presented her a watch along with a paper written with following message,

Ye ghadi nahin hai mein hun!

Chuti si hai badi nahin hai,

heere moti jadi nahin hai,

har kasauti par khari utregi,

sahi samay par sahi karegi,

Ye ghadi nahin hai main hun!

These lines of Hindi means 'This is not a watch but me, all though small and not valuable but sure to stand victorious in any test of time.' Her eyes became moist she looked towards me with a smile. I knew from this smile that my gift has touched her heart. A message from heart always reaches the heart. That DilSe deal became Dil Ki Deal at that moment.

“I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdealactivity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal.”

The Lost Love (Part - 2)

Read : Part 1

Saya was similar to him in thinking, in reading habits. His online conversations with her also revealed that they both like Chinese food and like the same Bollywood Hero and Heroine. He never thought anybody could understand it better than Sandhaya but Saya was much higher in that aspect from her. He wanted to meet her as soon as possible but she lived in another city.

“It was not a problem with me. I can come to meet you if you wish.” He said in excitement.

“ Oh My God! You are so desperate. What’s running in your mind.” She said impishly.

“Nothing of the sort you are thinking, I am just curious to see the beautiful face behind that beautiful writing.”

“Why you are so much confident about my beauty what if I am a seventy year old granny.”

“I always listen to my heart and it says that you are very beautiful and I am sure that you would be same as my imagination.” He said with confidence. He could judge by her voice and her thinking that she was of his age.

“If you are so eager to meet me than wait till next month I am coming there for my cousin's wedding." She said softly.

“One month is a long time. I can't wait for so long. I am coming in your city this weekend” He said firmly.

"Okay if you insist. Come this weekend."

He immediately booked his flight for the weekend. First time after so many days he was not thinking about Sandhaya’s incident. The guilt of mistreating Sandhaya was not feeling as a burden to him that day. He was happy and wanted to ease Sandhaya from the burden of the relationship they were carrying. He wanted to talk to her one last time. To end everything between them amicably. He went to her home to request her mother to compel her to talk to him. They were friends and they would remain the same if she wished.

Some guest were coming out from her house when he reached there. Abhishek inquired about them when he met her mother." Sandhaya didn't tell you? Don't tell me that both of you are still not in talking terms." Before he could speak anything she said,"they were Raunaq’s parents who came here to fix the date for Sandhaya and Raunaq’s wedding next month.” " What?" Sandhaya's wedding. It was difficult for him to absorb that his best friend the ex-love of his life was going to get married without any information to him. " Aunty! Have you asked Sandhaya about this." " Yes beta! You know that we don't force our decision on her. We were waiting for her decision about Raunaq from some time and she confirmed it last night that she is ready for marriage. We are happy , Raunaq is a nice boy and a good match for her."

He came out quietly without understanding what to say to her mother. She was feeling betrayed by his best friend. He was waiting for her return to apologize and mend their friendship and she decided on her wedding without telling him. The thought of losing her friendship in such a way filled his heart with despair. For him it was like someone giving his prized possession to someone else without his knowledge. He consoled himself ," Sandhaya has no place for me in her heart now. I should also move beyond her. I must confess my love to Saya before going to her this weekend. Sandhaya you haven't done right to me." He took out his phone and messaged ' I Love You' to Saya.

This post is part of the contest Spin your Story on WriteUpCafe.com

One Day

One day changed everything for her. A day before she was free,independent and an earning child who was taking all responsibilities of her mother and in a day's time she was sitting silent in a room surrounded by some girls and women chatting about her marriage and her husband. Whole world has turned 360 degrees for her.New family,new home,new atmosphere,everyone around her was a stranger. After few minutes all left her alone in the room to wait for her husband.

She remembered arguments with her mother when she told her to marry. She was against this marriage because her brother was still studying and she didn't want any extra burden on him and her mother. But her mother denied her opposition as such a good match was rare ." He was educated,well settled,well behaved,what more do you want? Soon you will be overage then who will marry you?" " But what about you and Ashwin who will take care of you both and what about my job? You know that my salary runs this house ?" She was not satisfied with her mother's answer that they would manage themselves but she kneel in front of her mother's emotional blackmail and pressure. She was required to marry an unknown,unseen person which she did.

She was sweating even in air conditioner thinking about her new life this one day has brought for her. She was worried about her partner,his nature,would he allow her to meet his family,would he let her go to work,all such questions were frightening While she was thinking about her past and future,she heard someone opening the door. Her husband entered the room and sat beside her. She was trembling. He raised her head and stretched his arm in a position to offer to shake hand," Hi! My name is Naveen will you be my friend."

His words put smile on her pale sweating face. Her fear and hesitation were gone. He made her so comfortable that she talked her heart out.She explained her concerns about her mother and brother to which he said that she could work if she wanted and could give salary to her mother. As that night was approaching to end she realized that one day has changed her world in a better way.

Broken

She made herself ready not only in physical appearance but also mentally to answer her three year boyfriend's marriage proposal. She was ready to leave her parents for him as they were against them.Little did she know that he was already married with two children before she visited his home. Her trust has broken.

This post is written for 55 on Friday by Write Tribe ,prompt: Little did she know.

Untold Love

Rajan was thinking of the days he shared with Roshni while sitting beside his window. Since childhood they were neighbors and thus very good friends,when at the age of sixteen Rajan lost both his parents in a road accident she was one to console him as she experienced the same feeling being brought up by her elder brother after she lost her parents in her childhood. They always stood for each other in time of grief and happiness,it is on her encouragement and support that he completed his studies and worked now in a private company as a manager.

He always enjoyed her company and started liking her,he don't know exactly when this liking converted into love,he never disclosed his emotions for her and wanted that she understood them by herself. But neither she nor he spoke those words and now it's too late as her brother has fixed her marriage to someone with her consent. He was relaxing and thinking about his untold love when Roshni's brother Arun knock at his door,"Rajan may I come in.", " You!yes please come in bro."

Arun told Rajan that he required money for Roshni's marriage arrangements," Rajan you are our own family and you can understand my situation,please arrange for some money, I will return it to you with interest with in a month." Rajan was saving money for years for his marriage someday with Roshni. He gave that money to Arun for a condition that he did not want it back as being the best friend of Roshni,it was his duty also that her wedding was completed without any difficulties.

It might be possible that Roshni would have accepted his proposal if he had asked her for marriage,it was also possible that she already knew of his love for her but she faced same problem as faced by Rajan. They both didn't want to lose their best friend or his love was not strong enough to be acknowledged by her. In few years Rajan also got married after pressure from some relatives and Roshni. Rajan and Roshni are still good freinds and that love story remained untold forever. It is also possible that there is another side of that story.

This story is complete in itself but if someone wish for a different end to that than wait for its,
concluding parts in future posts.....